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A Blog by Chris

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Friday, January 02, 2004

Hello all to lucky post numero 13! Sorry bout that long stretch with no postage on this here sight (because im so sure that people care) {boy sarcasm doesnt carry well in type}. Yes well anywas there hasnt been a great deal of postage due to the lack of interesting things happening in my world.

Yes i know you probably going to hear about all sorts of intersesting goings on about new years and such on other blogs and such but for me thats not the case. The extent of my "rocking" new years eve was watching the much more retro maraton on much more music. yes there was some good music on there but a fun evening not so much. See i could have went to a new years eve party that a friend was throwing (that turned out to be one crazy ass party and would have been loads of fun) but instead through guilt or something of that sort i decided to opt out and stay at home and do what our family traditionally has done on new years; go for chinese followed by the latest edition of the lord of the rings. But what made it "great" is that through various reasons we ended up having to get take out chinese and no movie seeage; thats why the extent of my night was watching old 80's music videos whoooo..ooo..ooh! (cough cough)

Yes well moving on from the crappyness of my night of a new year, whats new in yurkos life? hmm well ive finally finished that damn chem project which is due when i get back. Im kinda saddened because i had planned to make it in the style of a cheesy 50's era information brochure, much like those old cornball educational movies. The plan was to have all sorts of cheesy jokes, the chem info and to find some old style drawings that looked like what you would see in those films. Not only that i had planned to throw in the occasional anti communist comment to make it seem like one of those 50's american propaganda films. Instead i couldnt find any of those pictures except for one, the humour never really came across and on a whole it was really dissapointing. But hey the project is happily done so what do i care.
In other news though im still slogging away on that stupid self help book which just wont die. Im thinking that ill just see how far i can get tomorrow and if i dont finish the book then ill just make up 2 and a half pages worth of bs. hopefully that will be more than enough for my calc teacher. That and i really should start studying for all my tests in the upcoming week cause that would be a definite good thing to do well on, you know passing and all.

Yes ive also seen that the viewership on this site has now cracked the 200 mark, now i would be rejoicing alot more just like i did for 100 if it wasnt for the fact that i think that only a few people are checking the site a lot of the time, hey not that im complaining; a few fans are still better than no fans but it would still be great that if your reading this to just leave some sort of small comment cause it would really feel good to to know that someone out there is appreaciating this. But hey this plead for commenting will probably fall on deaf ears like the all my other requests, cant fault a guy for trying though.

I must admit though, ive been so bored these last few days that ive been re-reading all the old comments on this site, well mostly the ones by my friend jenn cause shes the only one who really comments. regardless though she did have a pretty good idea a while back on about starting up a story or something and doing a paragraph or such per post. Who knows it might be slightly fun and it may draw some more comments than i currently get so why not. Oh i must warn any and all that as you probably know by now i dont have the best spelling and/or grammar skills so keep that in mind, that and im pretty sure that a good chunk of the time this story will only make sense to me and will only be found humourous to me but hey it should be fun.
So here goes
One more thing i just checked and im finally listed on Globe of Blogs, hooray! Might bring more people, although i really should change the description, makes me seem like a bitter whining crank but hey ill get around to it; that or the site will eventually.

***

"There once was a man from Nantucket..."
Johnny loved to start his speeches off with that old "classic" of a tale (one the author personally doesnt know but everyone else seems to). Now this might have something to do with Johnny's genetics, or maby the fact that he spent 4 years in an exchange program being taught by a group of semi-intelligent dingos. The point is that their is no point and other than mentioing Johnny the previous has nothing to do with the story.

Now Johnny or Johny as he is usually called by his friends was a bard of sorts who would go from town to town telling tales of woe and such (you know, the usual junk that the greater bards union allows for their members to tell to small town folk). Often this would grant Johnny the luxury of some small chunks of old bread and a coin or two and he would be on his way. Such was not the case this fine old morning for poor old Johnny.

You see Johnny happened upon a small town which has the unfortunate situation of being located close to a dragon. Every so often this quaint little town would be ravaged, terrorised and the like by the dragon. Houses would be burned down, people eaten (the dragon was actually a vegetarian but he did allow himself the occasional human on the principle of things of course) and little dogs squished. Of course these rampages were more for effect, seeing as how the dragon didnt really make any sort of profit from the endevours but one must keep up appearances.
Well as you can surley imagine the villagers weren't all to keen on this arrangement. Constant repairs of the town and replacement of dogs; although good for the construction and pet industry respectivley; was starting to get a tad costly. So the all the members of this quaint mountain village (did i mention the town was in the mountains? thought i did but if not i have now) got together and decided that instead of having the annual ravaged by the dragon festival (a name coined by the joint pet shop-Carpentry union local 452 located in the town) why not take one of the many minstrals that often appear around the time and offer that as tribute to the dragon? Their hope was that the dragon would be pleased enough by this gift that it would be able to perchance pass up on a nice evening of house burning and dog squishing.

As you can now tell this is where poor Johnny comes back into the story. For Johnny happened upon this town at the exact moment that they were planning on sending up another appetizer to dear old Mr. Dragon. After preforming the union appointed set of sappy stories and badly written balads (or multi platnum pop songs, whatever you want to call them) the crafty townsfolk told poor Johnny that upon yonder mountain (The mayor of this particular town felt that by throwing in random words like yonder it make him sound smarter, not like this particular author or anything) there was a very rich man who had mountains of old dry bread and would love to hear some crappy (or american idol quality; whichever you prefer) music. The mayor and townsfolk also assured poor Johnny that he would be hansomly rewarded.

Now Johnny's not the kind of bard who is willing to pass up a good chunk of old dry bread so he happily agreed to go play his particular brand of music to this rich old man on the mountain. So off he set up the mountain path to what the villagers assured him would be a rewarding performance.

Unbeknownst to Johnny he was as it stood marching up the mountain to meet a rather hungry dragon (hungry of course for some soybean paste and lentles, but this being the middle ages of sorts the author has his doubts whether or not the dragon will get what he wants). Sadly other than the rather foul smelling villagers only a few moths and a semi-intelligent colony of ants knew what fate this young bard was walking into. Of course the moths werent really in a great position to warn poor Johnny about the oncoming dragon; they being distracted by deep thoughts about nectar and why you cant sucessfully mate with those damn butterfly's. The Ants on the otherhand would have gladly warned our Hero of sorts, of the oncoming danger had it not been for the fact that Johnny is unable to speak ant and this particular colony of semi-intelligent ants were preoccupied with their recent discovery of fire (which ironically lead to their downfall as the fire that they recently discovered attracted the attention of a rare breed of anteaters whose eyes are sensitive to insect created combustion {funny story about those anteaters, remind me to tell you sometime}).

***

Well thats it for today my friends; mostly cause ive used up all my little amount of creative juices. So till my next ramblage

The Amazing Boring Yurko



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